The decision to seek a divorce or separation is a very difficult one for most people. Most often, either the husband or the wife makes the decision to break the news to the other only after thinking about it for a long time. The decision is accompanied by many negative emotions such as frustration, anger, despair or fear. The term I use for the person who first decides to separate or divorce is the ” initiator”. I call the other spouse the “non-initiator”.
Every divorce and family mediator is dedicated to the principle known as “Self-Determination”. That means that couples should be the ones who make all decisions related to their separation or divorce issues, and not some outside third party such as a judge or a lawyer. The role of the mediator is to help the couples discuss the issues and reach agreements, if possible.